Stepping Into JC's World
Hey guys! Welcome to week 11 of Stepping into JC’s World.Jasmine Cannon - Ikurusi
I call this one "Hope"
This week I must say has been interesting. It is one of the biggest weeks of my life, as I am finally starting a new segment of my charity; I also just published my second book and already about to complete a third one. Moreover I am starting my magazine, which has been a three-year-old dream. On top of all this goodness I just got a call from work about a promotion. Do you know what is so funny, with starting my centre for sapphire ministries and all these other things, I thought work was struggling but it looks like God has your back when you put his own things first. It is so scary sometimes that I am only 23 but yet I have made it this far. I never in my entire life would have known that I would have completed my masters and be applying for a PHD next. How did I turn from the lost cause to the cause starter? How did I turn from useless to this? Everyday am thankful because if it were not for him I would be writing here. Everything was going so great this week until I got a letter. I got the letter you would never want to get!
“I can’t be friends with you no more because let’s be honest you are not worth it nor will you ever be worth it”
Writing this now I too am speechless. I never saw that coming. I never thought that a best friend would turn around to say something that could hurt someone so dearly. I was absolutely broken this week. She was my only true friend and my confidant. I missed her because that was the only person to which I told my truth but what was so sad, is that she did not see nor could I expect her to ever see it. I thought we would be each other’s best friends for life but such is life. People may come into your life for a season or some may be there to stay but when they leave we have to know that we would get through it. We have to know that our life is not determined by their opinions or mishaps. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to remain and that can be so hard to hear especially if you gave that person a part of you. Just know that it would be okay. Neither today nor tomorrow but give yourself time to heal. Give yourself time to grow. Get active or busy! If the friendship was meant to be, it would be but if its not then you have to let go and move on. I know it’s hard but you are stronger than the pain.
I have come to learn one thing; pain only lasts for a season. Pain has many faces! Pain walks around like it has governorship or control over you! Pain would try and break you! Pain would try and drain your sanity but you cannot let it! Why? Because pain is only temporary! Why? Because pain does not have the power, you do! So don’t give in to the cheap theatrics it would play! Don’t give into its copyright mind games! Don’t give in to its bitter words. Don’t give in to its melancholy dance.
You are going to make it through what every situation you are faced with today not tomorrow but today! You are more that your problems! You are more than your struggles! You are amazing! You are strong! You are beautiful inside and out! There is nothing wrong with you! You are loved! You have a special destiny! So when situations arise use it as weapon’s of valour than a song of defeat!
Stood UpJASMINE CANNON-IKURUSI
Now you guys have got to hear this. Lol before I continue, i think its time I tell you about my new discovery; no judgements please! It is called "christian connection"! I bet we have a few lifted eyebrows! I bet you guys must be thinking why; ok but before I let your mind wonder, let me tell you guys my excuses before I tell you the gossip! So basically the way my life is set up at the moment, I barely have time to myself talk less of meeting anyone. So that is what brought me to this dating site.
Yes I am only 23 but I feel like time is moving too fast. I feel like the voices in my environment are pressuring me to do something about my single hood. What is so funny, is that I love my company. I love the bubble I exist in with just me and my father. I feel so complete. I feel like nothing is missing. For the first time in a very long time I feel whole but most of all complete.
No, I am not single because of fear, but because of this encompassing love that makes me not long for anything else.
Life happens and there is a reason to why we are here. There is a legacy that is waiting to be birthed forth in each and everyone one of you but you must wait for your season. The fruit would only be bitter if you do not allow the fruit to rippened. So i say wait! Wait some more!
Well back to the story of the week. I had a date set up not from the app but by my best friend as my experience from the app only proved to be filled with one night stands and broken dreams. I literally was telling my best friend that I was done and needed to work on myself. However, after reviewing this person, their qualities matched everything i wanted but now i know that it is not what i needed! At first I was hesitant to speak to this person even as friends, as this person was a replica of the ex. It feels like it has been ages since i opened up. It is like life had taken so much of me that i had nothing to give. I had forgotten how to laugh. I had forgotten how to dance again. The colours that we once obscure had radiance again. I let my guard down and this person became my symbol of hope. A symbol of a future but most of all a home. For the first time in a long time, I was over the moon. I had no idea that a date that i thought the Kings orchestrated would turn from date to check mate.
Everyone who knows me, will tell you that I am basic and down to earth, and that makeup is not my specialty. However for this date, I thought i would go the extra mile by watching tutorials and study techniques. However i am learning that makeup only covers the insecurities and frailties but love accepts you flaws and all. I even went shopping for a new outfit. I was dressed and ready to hit the door when I got a text saying.
"I can't do this anymore"
I was distraught and dismayed that yet again after putting my heart out there, that I was left putting jigsaw puzzles back together again. But such is life. There will be ups and downs! There will be tears! There will be heartbreak! There will be nights or utter darkness but there is something in you that will not allow the tides of life keep you down! Sometimes in life you will prepare so much for an interview and expect that everything would be great to get a shocking rejection. You can study so hard for an exam and end up getting an average grade or worse case a fail. Life has a funny way of working sometimes. Or sometimes you give something or a project your all to get no result. Or you may have been in a relationship for 5 years to end in a sour end.
Baby life will happen but it would not break you!
Baby life will happen but your only going to stand stronger!
Baby life will happen but it would only create warriors!
When it is your time, it is your time!
Don't stop the process, as it would only purify you until you reach your golden years!
Life cannot stop you!
Heart break cannot hold you!
Pick yourself up!
Time to change the script!
Ladies make sure you are there for our free women event next week saturday from 3-7 at the double tree hilton at Greenwich! ALL WHITE ATTIRE EVENT!
WWOP - WOUNDED WOMEN OBTAIN POWER!
WE STAND AS LEADERS!
This week had its own ups and downs. I was literally at my detriment yesterday, when I thought I would give up. The voices were compelling me to give in. The pressure to give in to the shadows that haunted my mind. I don't know how it happened. Everything was going great until it wasn't! I was on cloud nine! I was making pigs fly! I was changing law and order. I was doing things that mankind deem as an impossibility. I was enforcing change and reconstructing a deformed institution!JASMINE N CANNON-IKURUSI
Until something happened!
I just snapped!
I can't explain it!
I cannot explain when it happened!
I cannot explain why nor how this mayhem occurred!
My laughter slowly turned to despair,
My joy created misery,
My heart once perfectly crafted now broken"
I was doing good!
I was starting to love again!
I started to see hope but most of all a future!
I could no longer amend nor suppress her!
I thought I was in control!
I thought I could do it!
Am I delusional?
Am I just plain crazy?
I can hear the voices!
They are coming!
There are nearly here!
What do I do?
Where do I run to?
I am weary!
I am so tired of running!
I thought I could do this!
I thought I was strong enough!
What do you do when the whole world turns its back on you?
What do I do when your family does not believe you nor believe in you?
Just a little advice guys, don't bottle things up! If not it will come crashing down so fast at a speed you cannot control that will obliterate everything good around you! Life will give you all sorts of sour tastes but there is a sweetness in you that will and can defeat the bitterness! Life will happen but it would not break you but make you stronger! Today decide to let it go!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR PAIN!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THE HEARTBREAK!
DECIDE TO LOVE AGAIN!
LET THE PAST GO!
IT CANNOT HURT YOU NO MORE!
WHERE WHERE ARE ALL MY LADIES AT?
SAPPHIRE MINISTRIES PRESENTS "WWOP"
WOUNDED WOMEN OBTAIN POWER"
SAVE THE DATE - 29/04/17 3-7PM
VENUE: DOUBLE TREE HILTON, GREENWICH
THEME: ALL WHITE
FREE FOOD, AND GOODY BAGS
BOOK FREE TICKETS NOW: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/wwop-tickets-32906044866
Doing so much at once?JASMINE CANNON-IKURUSI
I have always said that i can do it all. I have always said that doing one thing at once is boring but most being labelled as mediocre. I have so much i want to do that it has become a struggle of late to be able to manage all things. I barely sleep nor eat. My mind is on this unending rollercoaster. It is like the more I sleep, the more i dream. I see a future so bright! I see a world of possibilities! I see a world of exploits! I see nations arise and unite! I see broken homes rebuilt! I see wounded warriors arise! I see victims become victors. I see stars from scars! I see a nation wake up from an eternity of deep slumber. I see humanity find the key.
Call me delusional or as my best friend says i am not about this planet"
I just want so much for our world.
I want to do so much!
I want to move mountains!
I want my country to stand but how can they hear when reading is no longer an ability but handicap to mankind?
The issue that I have been facing these couple of weeks, is wanting everything to happen now! I am so excited that i begin to loose the patience to nurture a legacy. Is it so wrong of me to want a better world? I want the violence to end! I want Congo to find restoration! I want children to no longer get molested! I long for love to become the second nature for every home.
But is it delusion? Am i concluded or secluded to the truth?
Change is a process. Change is gradual.
I have given this fight all that i am and bestowed my everything. I have poured my whole totality into this and now lost the ones i thought were dear. I have gone from crowded nights to choir of one. Sometimes i ask myself why do you keep going?
Sometimes you may feel all alone but keep going why?
Keep standing, why?
Baby stand when you may have to stand alone, it will pay off. We just have to stand for what we believe in, why?
We have to keep fighting! See breathing! Keep changing the impossible! Don't give up! Don't give in! People may mock or put you down but they can't break you! You may be standing alone financially, emotionally and mentally but you have someone who knows your name. He is working behind the set and puts things in order. He called you into essence! He says baby fight! He says baby live!
Your scars are turning into stars!
Change will happen!
One day at a time!
All i can say is:
Your time of delivery is near!
Sorry it has been a while guys! SJW is back and I am stronger than ever!