12. Aug, 2014


Why God? Why Me? Why have you forsaken me?

Have I not served you? Have I not given you my life? My Heart? Soul, Body and Mind?

My life belongs to you! I have laid down my entity to do your will! I have worshipped you when they mocked me!
I believed in you when others didn’t!
I pray to you day and night!
I cry out to you but yet I see no results!
I have toiled in the scorching hot deserts but yet I see no water!
I have cried out for food but yet I am hungry!
I am homeless! Cold! Alone! Abandoned! Betrayed!
They mock me over and over again! They abuse me! They doubt that my God truly exists!
Where are you my God! I cry to you day and night! Hear my heart Cry! Show up in my life!

Why me? Why have I been married for years but yet I have no child? Have I not served you faithfully? Am I not the first to open the church! I wait patiently! For how long will you look down and do nothing! You are a God that can move mountains! You created the world in 7 days! There is absolutely nothing you cannot do! You are omnipotent! All-powerful God! Why must I suffer so much shame and reproach! When will I hear my child’s cry? For how long will I be barren? When is my time to be blessed? They make jest of me! My in-laws scorn me! My husband looks down on me! For how long will I be made the town’s laughing stock?

For those that have been waiting for God to show up – whether it be in your finances or your marriage or in school or in your career! My God is a faithful God! There is nothing he cannot do! He will turn around every mishap into a success story! Every negative but in your life will be terminated!

Just keep faithing it! Believe! He has not forgotten you! He is going to show up when it is time! Do not be in a haste!

I do not care how the road looks!
I do not care what your account is saying!
I do not care what your grades are saying!
I do not care how many rejections you get!
My God is a God that can do all things!

Sometimes in life we want the best designer items or we want the latest phone or car but we want it is as cheap as possible!
We are not willing to pay the premium price!
We want – We want!

Are you ready to pay the premium price to get the premium view?
Are you willing to do what it takes?

I remember the other week! I had completely rinsed my finances! I was broken- lost and alone! I was homeless! It was so bad that I had to sleep at McDonalds then I met a 40-year-old man that put me up in his parent’s house for a bit! I was hungry and I cried out!

Baba where are you? Have you forgotten me? Have you deserted me? What have I done to deserve this brutality? Have I not bestowed my all to serve you!

I was at church that Sunday; I was so angry with him for betraying me!
I was fed up and angry about life!
I could not understand why he enabled me to go hungry! It was so bad that I managed to scrap $2 to buy bread and butter!
I was fed up! Struggling was not his purpose for my life!
I am a woman of wealth! It is my inheritance!

So I had my last $10 that day and he told me to give it!
I was thinking, this is definitely a joke! God you must be having a laugh! Are you crazy! How will I survive? I was so fed up of New York! Doing an Internship with no pay! My spending became outrageous! I knew how to budget but yet I lacked the wisdom. So I gave my last money!

After I wept and worshipped! I had to faith it! I had to trust that he loved me! He will never leave me to die hungry and alone!

Then he showed up in ways I cannot emphasize! He is a merciful God! He is there and waiting for his time to bless us! Now I know how to appreciate the little, if not I will waste the big! I budget! I plan! No more foolish expenditure!

I can tell you that my God is a merciful God!
He will show up in any issues you are going through!
He has proven to exist over and over again in my life!
He will do the same for you – if you just believe!
Trust him like your life depends on him! Rely on him only and he will not let you down!

My prayer is that our eyes stay focus on him and him alone!

He always *TurnUp*!

Jasmine Cannon-Ikurusi