17. Jun, 2015

Sacrifice


You know how you open a door that leads to another door which leads to another door and another door and the journey continues. Nowadays we get to the 7/8th door and turn back because we are too afraid of the unknown. We have no idea what lies behind the 7th door and that in it self scares us. I thought I was the bravest of them all. In fact I thought I could change the world. Leave my footprint on Google Maps. Life has a funny way of turning out sometimes.

I always wanted to help people all my life and enable the world to be a better place. I have no idea how I ended up here actually. How did I get here?

Sat in the room with my wifey putting our little boy to sleep. How time flies! How music dies! How did I get from playing happy families to happy endings? Where did time go? How did time go?

My baby boy now plays the soul taker? When did I pass the mantle to a rattle? When did I give up all my humanity for no sanity?

My baby boy cannot forget. In fact I was warned that bringing up a child in this world is recipe of mediocracy waiting to happen. My baby still calls out their names like a nightmare that lingers in the atmosphere. Children's minds are an entity that Einstein himself cannot phantom. The way they learn, reason and think is a maze that our minds cannot wrap around. I had no idea the impact a parent can have on a child's life. Parents attributes can form, make and mold a child's future.

I thought my baby boy was oblivious to the chimes that sighed around him. I had no idea that he can miss something or someone he barely knew. He keeps calling out - mummy where is "Ryan"? mummy where is "Nia"?

I love what I do actually. I thought in someway I can give a little boy the dream to an end! A life they never acquired or could acquire? A life that they were unfortunate to have!

My heartbeat; my heart cry; my dance vibe; my hobby; my first love and only love has pushed the ones closest to me away. I thought that taking on this role as care taker would be a walk in the park not my park life. My wife has now suffered at the detriment of my deficiency! My baby boy is continually haunted by the repetitive unknown answers! I have lost everyone that called me family at the expense of being who I am. I thought I could manage the best of both worlds. I had no idea that I would be giving up all of me to be who I ought to be.

The silence now grows louder. The melancholic music plays its tune! The cries enhance the times. Now I am sitting alone on my rocking chair. Alone! Giving that little boy a life I once had; to give them all they could have.

Sacrifice! A word humanity cannot begin to phantom nor comprehend! A reprehend passed down from Abraham to Emerald.

Jasmine N Cannon-Ikurusi "MzRtwv"