1. Jul, 2016

Legacy 2

I feel like I am fighting a lost cause. I cannot feel her. I have lost all the senses that kept us united. I feel like I am pulling her up but she is dragging me 10 times down. The more I remain in her embrace, the more of myself I lose. I scream but she cannot hear me! I have wept but she cannot see me. Each day that passeth the more I lose recognition of the image that lieth before me. I am weary of chasing a bittersweet season. As the days change, so does she. She has lost sight of who she is. She can hear the wind cry but does not know which direction to follow. Her morality has become an arbitrary. I am losing track of the days. I cannot tell the light from the right. I cannot tell the wrong nor the song. My heart cries out but I feel lifeless in the midst of the chaos. I am spinning out of control. My voice has been silenced by my weaknesses. I cannot find the strength to stand up from the dirt. I have become comfortable in the darkness. The filth has been my best friend! I am starting to love the song of self pity. I have become consumed by despair and deception. The bed is so warm that I do not want to get up. I now walk the streets at night shift hours. I roam from street to street looking for my next fix. Broken beyond comprehension. I have given all of me, that I see no reminder of who I once was. The smell of death lingers in the atmosphere. I have chosen to wear the logo of defeated. I have chosen to carry the cross of depression. I have chosen to wear the breastplate of forgotten. How my identity cries out for a revolution! How my detriment bellows for a restoration. I have finally hit rock bottom! I have finally seen that me without you is insanity. I can now see that the more I run from your embrace, the more I lose who I am. I cannot think straight without you! I cannot eat without you! I cannot live without you! You are my everything! My whole sanity relies on your everlasting grace. I cannot go on without you! I long to dance with you again, but I have forgotten the choreography! I have forgotten how to move my body to the beat! I have lost my rhythm because you are not by my side. My speech has deteriorated because I am lost without you. With you by my side, I could move mountains. I have become a vermin that fuels on drugs. An addict enslaved to toxins and turmoils. I want to be free! I wanted to be liberated from the abuses and misconceptions. I long to know the ideologies that wise men once treasured. I long to dwell in the secret place again.

How long would we remain in one place?
How long would we remain stuck?
Are you not tired of beating the same generational drum?
When would we wake up and be that all that we can be?
Are you not tired of the routines?
When would you make a difference?
When would you be the change that our world needs?
When would you light bulb come out of hiding?

For how long would you bury who you are to be what they want you to be? WHAT ARE YOU LIVING FOR? WHO ARE YOU LIVING FOR? Are you not tired of the excuses? Who are you? What will you become?

But most of all what would your legacy be?

Jasmine Cannon-Ikurusi - JC